No Regret (2006)

No Regret is the first gay feature film by an openly gay Korean director, Lee Song Hee-Il.

When I read the synopsis, I was sceptical. Orphan becomes gigolo, rich obsessive stalks him, pair fall in love, arranged marriage threatens to rip them apart but doesn't. It just seems a little too, well... gay-themed movie.

No Regret opens with Su-Min (Lee Young-Hoon) swimming in a river near his idyllic countryside orphanage. Cue ass shot, and boy, what a beautiful ass it is, too!

We follow Su-Min as he leaves the orphanage, and sets out for the big smoke, Seoul. Here Su-Min struggles to make ends meet, working two jobs to put himself through night school. It's in his job as a chauffeur that he meets Jae-Min (Lee Han), who propositions Su-Min, only to be turned down. When Su-Min is fired from his day job at a factory, we learn that Jae-Min is the son of the boss. Su-Min is rehired, only to quit again on principle. Are you following so far?

Su-Min drops out of night school, and ends up working as a gigolo in Seoul. It just wouldn't be a gay themed film if there wasn't a gigolo in it somewhere, would it? It's here that Jae-Min manages to track him down through a friend, and the two meet again. Jae-Min pays him for sex, where we're told that Su-Min doesn't take it up the ass, so we get to see this gorgeous young gigolo turn his hand to topping his stalker. Despite the childish, awkward jerking and gasping, I was still, almost inexplicably turned on by this scene. Before leaving, Su-Min threatens to kill him if he sees him again. Though, I'm not quite sure why...

And so the story goes. Rich guy stalks orphan, until finally, orphan gives in, and the pair fall madly, and deeply in love. In one touching scene, Su-Min offers up his ass to his lover, so we're left in little doubt as to the feelings between the pair. He quits working as a gigolo, and achieves some semblance of normality in his life for what, we assume, is the first time.

But of course, we know that the story can't end here. Where's the tragedy?

Jae-Min's arranged marriage, the death of one of Su-Min's best friends, and a rather dark, violent and confusing ending see to that.

But of course, Su-Min and Jae-Min both survive, and, we're led to believe, end up together by the time the credits roll.

No Regret left me with more questions than it answered, rather like a French movie. This wasn't a bad thing, though, and despite a very corny plot, Lee Song Hee-Il created a masterpiece against all the odds, which had me transfixed from the first flash of Lee Young-Hoon's rear end to the end of the final scene. Beautifully shot, cast and acted, I certainly don't regret having watched it. Definitely one of the best Asian movies I've watched.

My month off...

Or my month on...

I've been drafted, so for the next 28 days or so (hopefully not longer!) I'll be back with the IDF, with any luck, doing nothing worthy of comment! In the meantime, I leave you with the pictures and clips from Yossi & Jagger. Don't get jealous though, I doubt I'll be lucky enough to work with Yehuda Levi!

Catch you in a month!

Eating Out (2005)

Words fail me. I'm not even going to post the blurb. This was an awful, awful movie. It's saving grace (the reason I didn't turn it off after just 5 minutes) was that it stars Scott Lunsford (hot) and Ryan Carnes (HOT). But not even the brief full frontal nudity could make this movie enjoyable.

To quote from a critic at Rotten Tomatoes, it's like an episode of Will & Grace gone horribly wrong.

Surprisingly, there's a sequel. Even more surprisingly, it's gotten relatively good reviews. Maybe I'll get around to watching it. Maybe.

Shelter (2007)

Charged with the electric crackle of first love, this sweet and sexy California romance is about a confused young artist torn between his family and his future. Fresh out of high school, Zach (Trevor Wright) gives up a full scholarship to spare his 5-year-old nephew from their dysfunctional family. Now restless and isolated, the gifted youth toils at a local diner.

But everything changes when he finds himself drawn to thirtysomething Shaun (Brad Rowe), a confident young writer. As the two hit the surf and Shaun's mattress with equal enthusiasm, they fall into a secret relationship that may give Zach the courage he needs to follow his passions.

Shelter is that rarest of things -- a gay themed movie that doesn't end in tragedy. While it shows us that life can indeed be tough, it also gives us hope. It's beautifully shot, and of course, the eye candy is superb.

Need I say more?

I'm usually a bugger for giving spoilers, but this time I'm not going to. All I need to say is that nobody's on drugs. There's not a rent boy or a gun in sight. Nobody's beaten to within an inch of their life. This is simply a superb, sweet love story. And Zach and Sean make a gorgeous couple. Don't you agree?

Plata Quemada (Burnt Money)

Plata Quemada (2000) isn't your average gay themed movie. It's a passionate and gritty crime thriller that's based on the true story of a high profile Buenos Aires heist in 1965.

El Nene (Leonardo Sbaraglia) and Angel (Eduardo Noriega) meet in a Buenos Aires bathroom, and quickly become inseperable. The lovers earn themselves the nickname, "The Twins".

These boys aren't your average pretty boy, gym bunny gay characters, either. They're thieves, they're rough, they're messed up. Angel is a schizophrenic and deeply religious character who has been haunted by "voices" his entire life. Nene is unfaithful, untrusting, and bisexual. The relationship between the two is exactly what you'd expect. It's gritty, it's violent, but it's incredibly passionate, and it's obvious that they're deeply in love.

The lovers become partners in crime, and with their friend Cuervo (Pablo Echarri) and an assortment of other criminals they lead a botched robbery on an armoured truck. Angel is injured in the heist, and Nene kills all of the guards a fit of rage. Subsequently, the gang flees with the stolen money to nearby Montevideo where they live in hiding.

Angel has stopped having sex with Nene because of the voices he hears and the two hardly speak, but manage to maintain an amazing level of intimacy. We watch their strained relationship boil over, as the trio break curfew and leave their hiding place. Frustrated with this lack of sex in his relationship with Angel, Nene begins an affair with Giselle, a local prostitute. He confides in her that Angel knows him like nobody else, and that he knows what Nene wants, and what he will do even before Nene does. This becomes apparent when Angel begins to suspect that Nene is being unfaithful.

There is talk of Nene and Giselle escaping together, however, when she tries to force Nene to choose between her and Angel, he chooses Angel. Nene threatens to kill Giselle if she turns the gang in, but despite his threats she goes straight to the police and the trio are surrounded before they can take to the road. They attempt to stand and fight, believing that they can still escape, and we watch Angel and Nene rekindle their relationship, sharing a few brief, erotic moments together in happiness.

Cuervo is the first casualty of the seige, and as the lovers wait for the next wave of attacks from the police they soon realise that they have no way to save themselves, or their loot. It's this that leads to the title scene where in one last vibrant outburst, the couple set fire to the money.

Essentially a gay Bonnie and Clyde, Burnt Money still manages to be unique. Their performance is superb, Sbaraglia and Noriega simply ooze sex appeal. For those of us who have a soft spot for bad boys, the sight of these two hunks locked in a passionate kiss while covered in blood, sweat and grease is a delight. And for those of us who like our love stories with a twist, this movie delivers. Possibly it's only flaw (aside from the lack of a rampant and graphic sex scene between these luscious latinos) was that I kept missing the subtitles because I couldn't drag my attention away from Angel's eyes.

I'm not quite sure what was so "intensely erotic" about the movie, as the cover boasted. There were several heterosexual sex scenes throughout the film, but the relationship between Angel and Nene was portrayed as a deeply emotional one, not so much a physical one. "The Twins" shared some intensely intimate moments, notably when Nene pulled a bullet out of Angel's shoulder on the couch, but there was relatively little in the way of inferred sexual intimacy between the two at all, until the final 10 minutes of the movie. And yet, Burnt Money still managed to be incredibly sexy and devastatingly touching.

Definitely one of the best gay themed movies I've ever watched, my only regret is that it's taken me 8 years to see it. Plata Quemada left me with a lump in my throat, and Angel's eyes left me with a raging hardon.

Here are the two fan videos that inspired me to finally buy a copy of this movie. I hope you do the same.

Starcrossed

Starcrossed is an atmospheric story of Darren & Connor who's relationship develops into something more then society could ever handle. Unable to deny there feelings for each other the two brothers try to hide there relationship from an unkind world but fail. The boys decide that a world that can't understand them is a world that's not for them.' (from the official website)

To Call Starcrossed a short movie would be an understatement. The playtime rolls in at barely 13 minutes, but boy -- what an eventful 13 minutes they are. The film is concise, beautifully written, shot, directed and acted. Addressing the issue of incest will always be controversial, and because of that this short had the potential to turn into a softcore fetish movie. But with Starcrossed, we are taken on a beautiful yet brutal journey to explore and understand the love between these two men. From the opening to the closing scene, a delight to watch. If you haven't already, I urge you to watch it.

Now if they'd only make a feature out of it...

Holding Trevor

Trevor Holden has just witnessed his boyfriend, Darrell, overdose on heroin--again. As Darrell's oldest friend, Trevor feels a responsibility to help Darrell in his latest attempt at sobriety, much to the dismay of his own best friends, Jake and Andie. But, when Darrell starts using again, Trevor is finally ready to call it quits. And just when he does, he meets the ever-so-charming Ephram. Simply being everything that Darrell is not immediately wins Ephram a number of points, but Ephram accepts a job thousands of miles away in New York City, and he wants Trevor to go with him. Now, what started out as Trevor's own personal existential journey turns into a path that will lead him to what is most important: himself. Holding Trevor is continually poignant, relentlessly self-deprecating, and just the type of cerebral dark comedy that can speak directly to the 20-somethings of today while letting other generations in on the joke. (from www.movietome.com)

Occasionally a gay-themed movie that's worth it's salt crops up. I'm thinking Presque Rien, Brokeback Mountain, The Bubble. I had hoped that Holding Trevor (2007) would be one such movie. I wasn't entirely disappointed. The 88 minutes running time weren't wholly unpleasant, the passable performance from some generally likeable characters helped. I can't help but feel that had the plot been a little more focused and developed that the result would have been a great movie. But it was the eye-candy that kept me glued to my seat throughout, and after all, is that not what we have all come to expect from gay-themed movies? Here's the spoiler, and one of the scenes which kept me entertained for almost an hour and a half.

Would I watch it again? If I weren't in company and had my trousers around my ankles, definitely.